穗波的日記

Dear Diary,

Thanks to my dear friend’s reminding, I suddenly realized that it’s been over a month not to sit in front of the desktop, to put my thoughts in order, and to update my blog. Either it’s the end of the world or I’m just tired of writing. I’m not smart enough to live like Sherlock Holmes, and my mind palace is not big enough to deposit every inspiration emerged in my brain. So here I am, having no choice but to spare more room for my limited intelligence.

Let’s talk about “tiring” first. What tires me? To be frank with you, my dear diary, I think it’s over the past five years, the way I think and the role I play. So after annoying moving and one month’s self-examination, I come back and change way to deal with my work. Using different language to think and write is a good start, so far.

Within the past half year, I was lazy and behaved as if waiting for the end of the world. I think it’s a SIGN, telling me that my life needs some changes. Moving is good, it means change; but also it’s not good, because it inevitably requires repeated weight exercise and constant communication. You can see a picture: there are a man, a woman and a boy, like omnipresent dust floating in the air, expecting some bystander turning on the vacuum cleaner and conveniently absorbing all the suggestions away...

In the meantime, books, music, TV series, chess and friends had rescued my soul. “The New Manhood: The Handbook for a New Kind of Man”is an interesting book, it reminds me the other book, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”. Boys and girls (especially boys) have been taught not to show their fragility in public, or they will be despised or even get bullied. The price is that boys are still boys, because they have no chance to deal with their real sentiments. They are sick of facing their true desire and themselves. These two books both talk about scar, repair, vulnerability, courage, and trust. If you try to become a better man, or aspire to have a good and steady relationship, I think reading them will help you a lot.

The best way to isolate all the noise when I'm awake is playing music, Ed Sheeran, Mindy Gledhill and Lenka are on my lately list. Living with controlling-maniac is a terrible thing. They probably don’t think they are controlling-maniac, they are just trying to make things better. Trying to make things better is good, but it’s based on the premise that no other’s freedom should be restricted. Giving advice is your choice, and not taking advice is mine. I mean, learning how to respect people we love is an important thing, and we can start from respecting their freewill. Next time when controlling-maniac comes back to you, try “Anchor” or“Trouble is a friend”.

Because of the TV series “Sherlock”, I’m really likely to read the original novels. Due to the limitation of length, movies “Sherlock” focus on investigations; TV series “Sherlock” also persist in solving the cases, but describe more about the relations between Sherlock and the other characters. Sherlock is a man who doesn’t chat, who doesn’t have friends, and who doesn’t have deep connection with people until John’s showing up. Genius needs someone to appreciate his genius; and also genius needs someone to help him communicate with others. John is Sherlock’s bridge to society, and Sherlock keeps amazing John.

With John’s attention, Sherlock is no longer a solitary flower in love with its own fragrance. However, I agree with Mrs. Hudson, who said the wedding day is “the end of an era”. Marriage could change everything in a soundless way, especially for you and your friends. I couldn’t help comforting Sherlock if I were there. After all, he is still a friendless boy, which needs someone’s company.

Sherlock makes me realize that nobody is an island. He possibly doesn’t need to count on other people economically, yet he still needs someone to understand and support him emotionally. He makes me think about my relations with people whom I care about and who cares about me. So, back to my life, I regain reading, writing diary and letters to my friends, making cards and cooking. Maintaining the habit of exercise and improving English listening skills are worthy of my effort, though they are extremely difficult for me…

Finally, I wish you enjoy your life, because I’m going to enjoy mine!